Sam and Dean take on the swamp
by pyromoosepoop
Summary: Sam and Dean go to Europe to hunt a terrifying ogre, but little did they know that they'd team up with the Ogre. With unhappy British men of letters, a stolen ogre princess, and Crowley plotting something sinister could Sam, Dean, and this new ogre stand a chance?


Sam and Dean were in the middle of somewhere in Europe, they didn't know for sure. they were on a mission by the British Men of Letters to find and kill a monster that has been terrifying the village folk.

"Dean, I don't think we're gonna find him that easily," said Sam as he was giving up hope.

"He can't be too far away Sammy, by the way..." Dean said and looked through the computer generated forests and locks eyes with a big rock

"I like this boulder, this is a nice boulder" Dean said, Sam got confused for a second,

"Are you high?" Sam asked. Before Dean could defend himself, a giant door in the middle of a tree stump house slammed close and a dark figure came closer to them within the shadows.

"Hey! get out me swamp!" A scottish voice sounding an aweful lot like Mike Meyers exclaimed.

Steve Harwell came out of nowhere and yelled out "SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD MEEE THE WOOOOOORLD WAS GONNA ROLL MEEEEEE, I ain't the sharpest tool in the sheEEed"

At that moment, Cass came out from behind Steve Harwell, Looking concerned.

"SHE WAS LOOKIN' KINDA DUUUUUMB" Cass put hand to be his finger hand his thumb in the shape of an "L" on Steve Harwells forehead. exorcising the demon inside of him.

"what the hell just happened, Cass," said the flustered Winchester brother.

"Sam, Dean, the three of us are trapped in some sort of computer generated animated world where outdated pop music from our 1990's plays and all the fairy tales (that Disney hasn't acclaimed the copyright to) are real." Cass explained.

"Betta out then in, I always say," said Shrek who was now behind Sam and Dean "you three lads must be the hunters sent by Lord Farquaad"

Cass, offended replied "The only lord I answer to is God himself"

"so you answer to me?" said Shrek

"What?!" Sam said confused

"Soo...you arn't sent by Lord Farquaad?" Shrek asked

"No," the winchesters said in unison

"then lets go save my wife Fiona" Shrek proclaimed as the song Get Jiggy started playing as a montage of getting from Far Far Away to New York City commenced. for some off screen reason, Sam, Dean, and Cass agreed to help Shrek with finding and saving Fiona.

the four of them walked past a random tree with a beehive in Central Park, Lord Farquaad was sitting there on a bench drinking water.

"WHERE DID YOU PUT MY WIFE, FARQUAAD?" yelled Shrek angrily and frightning lord Farquaad. Farquaad started laughing.

Farquaad made eye contact with Sam, "only if you knew who I am" Farquaad said.

then Chuck Shirley AKA GOD came from nowhere and said, Wait, what happened to Donkey and Puss in Boots? do they just not exist? what happened. Then Chuck Shirley dissapeared without anyone noticing, how'd he do that? He's God. he can just do that.

Lord Farquaad laughed as he ripped off his head revealing that he was an android being ran by someone or something on the inside.

coming from Lord Farquaad's dismantelled head, "Tell me Shrek, You like JAAAAAAAAZZ?!"

Barry the Bee flew out of Farquaad's shell of a body and started to monolouge.

"You see, Shrek, whats the deal with Airline food? all of them are full of honey! and who controls the production of honey filled airline food? thats right! the princess of Far Far Away..."

Barry's logical and politically important speech was interupted by his weird human girlfriend, Vanessa Bloome

"you don't have to do this, Barry!" she said

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" yelled Sam

Dean pulled out his Gun and tried to shoot Barry. but missed because Barry is in fact a bee. Barry got mad and stung Cass. Cass didn't feel the pain because he is an angel and good angels don't feel no pain. Barry fell to the ground and started dying.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO0OOOO0OOOO0OO!" yelled Vennessa, she reached down to her bee lover. "Barry," she said as a single tear rolled down her face.

"acc...according to all laws of [cough] aviati..." barry said breathing his last breath.

Barry died in Venessa's Arms... well hands... well, hand. He's a bee.

Sam and Dean were genuinly confused. Shrek and Cass just don't give a f***. so crowley came and killed Vanessa. why did Crowley kill Vanessa? Because he DIDN'T like jazz.

Did I mention that Fiona was there? Because she was. and they all lived happily ever after. except for Sam, Dean, and Cass. they all have really horrible lives. just remember that hate doesnt win wars, love does. and Shrek is love. Shrek is an outdated meme. Heroes don't do drugs. AND GOD(chuck_shirly)BLESS AMERICA!


End file.
